I don't really know what to write on this post. A lot has changed since the last time that I wrote. I had to take a break from blogging because I realized that writing about my problems with my husband on our infertility situation was only making me more angry at him. I would re-read my posts and be like "Gah, he is so horrible, etc.." So I took a break, worked on my marriage, and sorted everything out, and today I am at a totally different place than I was a few weeks ago. In many ways, my marriage has never been stronger than it is now. In a few ways it is not, but for the most part, our marriage is really good right now. I am at peace with everything, and my relationship with God has never been stronger as well. I hope to keep it that way. I know that this situation is what it took to get me back to my close walk with God, and it is so much easier to go to Him in times of need than we things are going good, but I hope to not be that person anymore. I want to start living a more Christian- like life, and be a good role model and Christian witness to the one child that God has already so graciously blessed me with. I never knew how blessed I was until the chance to do it all over again was taken away from me (or so I assume it was according to the dr, but I do know that if God has a baby planned for me, then it will miraculously happen anyway.) So now, I have to figure out what I am going to do on this blog. I thought about cancelling it, but I really do not want to. I have made many friends in the short time that I have been on here, and all of them mean so much to me (I have still been checking in on everyone's blog a few times a week!) One thing I wanted to mention is the reason for my new corny blog name. I wanted to change it because I didn't want any of my dh's family or my own family to find me on here. While I was trying to come up with a new name, the song "Don't Forget to Remember Me" by Carrie Underwood was on CMT, and I just went with it. I was also in a hurry so that had a lot to do with it as well. Also, on my last post I wrote that we would find out something in January 2007 on whether or not anything can be done. Let me elaborate for those who were wondering. My dh has an appt. with the urologist again to check his testosterone levels. He was recently put on legal steroids, and they want to see if this is increasing his test. level like it should be doing. His sperm count will also be checked again. One thing in particular, I will be attending this appt. which is a first. I have a LOT of questions for the Dr.!!! I want to find out what our options are, what the chances are, and see if we need to seek the advice of a specialist in infertility. I also hope that his test. level has increased because steroids are very detrimental to a man's fertility (not that he has anything 'fertile' about him in the first place, there is always the chance of things improving, and steroids will kill that chance if he stays on them for too long.) If we could even increase the sperm count from 0 to 100, that's 100 sperm that could be frozen, and we could look into invitro. He wouldn't have to endure any kind of pain which has been the problem of him wanting us to seek medical treatment. Who knows!!! Not very likely, and I am definately not holding out hope. I just don't like the steroids anyway. They make him very moody- as if men aren't already moody enough. Well, enough rambling. I promise I will try not to wait so long to post again!!!